I don't know if it's a good idea for me to post this. This is so humiliating and humbling that I'm scared that anyone who might actually read my blog would consider me genuinely, well, "one who rides the short bus".
But SQL Server is not case sensitive. I didn't know that. I've been a web & app developer with SQL Server as my essential RDBMS for .. gosh, twelve years now. Yet, I've frequently used LOWER() and LIKE to try to nudge field/text comparisons to be case insensitive, yet this whole time I didn't need to. SQL is not C#.
This guy speaks my words precisely.
http://www.bennadel.com/blog/723-SQL-Server-Text-Matching-Is-Case-INSENSITIVE.htm
Down to detail. "I am officially retarded," indeed, that's exactly how I feel. Well maybe if more people would blog this then less of us would feel so awful.
How to make it case sensitive? Here's a sample: http://blog.sqlauthority.com/2007/04/30/case-sensitive-sql-query-search/